Who am I?

I believe that my trip to Brazil has changed me slightly, though I struggle to distinguish whether the change was forged from my experiences in Brazil or a change brought about because as a human, I am always growing and changing?

            When I reflect on my experience in Brazil as a whole, I believe that I have gained patience and tolerance.  In the beginning, I was paired with a roommate who was completely different from me.  Although I did not particularly care for her, I had to live harmoniously with her, thus, I attempted to understand her.  Before I came to Brazil, I never really had to associate or deal with anyone I did not particularly care for, for a lengthy time.  In general, group relations within our Brazil group, pushed me to have greater patience.  As a member of a group, I believe people are required to deal with people they normally do not select.

            Brazil pushed me beyond my comfort level in terms of communication.  I pride myself on being able to express myself clearly, yet I often found myself frustrated and annoyed.  I even remember asking students who spike Portuguese better then myself, what someone was saying.  I was getting tired of trying to understand them.  Thus being in Brazil has allowed me to truly value freedom of expression.

            When I think of expression, I am not just speaking about my ability to communicate effectively but physical expression as well.  I found that Brazilians are less concerned about having the perfect body, they do not hide themselves on the beach or in oversized clothing.  They seem very comfortable with themselves  regardless of what they look like.  What I found truly beautiful is the way in which pregnant women wear their swollen bellies; Not covered with fitted clothing.  This land of freedom has guided me in getting rid of my own inhibitions.  It has helped me realize that societal pressures need not be validated if I am comfortable with myself.

            My experience in Brazil has allowed me to be a little more relaxed, particularly as a result of the study tour because I found the pace of life in many parts of Brazil to be a little slower.  I had a conversation with a Brazilian man about the pace of life and the quality of life in Brazil, as opposed to the United States.  In the United States, he said, people earn a living and mostly even foreigners who come to the states, come in order to make money and build some sort of life.  However, the US, unlike Brazil, is not a place to enjoy life.  When I reflect on what I observed in Brazil and what I experienced, I believe that man is correct.  I have changed from being consumed with the future and constantly preparing for it to living in the present and enjoying the here and now.

            Brazil has taught me many things about myself because it gave me an opportunity to focus on internal changes and how I respond in different situations.  Away from the U.S., I was able to escape my roles more; however inexplicably, I brought all of me with me.  My Brazilian experiences allowed me to build an identity that already existed and helped make my identity more multi-dimensional by adding different facets, sides, to the aspects that already existed.

Union College Student, 2001